I have chosen the story Out Front to critically analyze, as it resonates with me. I state that it is not without reservation, that I have decided to write this and post it to an open blog that is directly linked to my future as an educator. But I understand the great power I hold, in being able to provide acceptance and strength for my future students. I am the “B” that makes up the LGBT community. I have felt first hand what it means to be bisexual growing up in Saskatchewan. Although I am strong, it was not without its challenges.
As I have married a man and have had children, I feel as though this part of me has been minimized. It seems that it is just easier to be recognized as straight because I am married to a man. Out Front brought forward the obvious shortcomings of a dominant narrative. For me, this was very personal. I had judgments passed down on me throughout my youth that made me feel less because of my sexuality. Now, the person that I am is minimized. Why should I feel that I can no longer be proud of who I am, because I now fit some type of hetero mold? Why should others not feel counted because our system is full of oppressive ideas?
The courage that is present in this story brings both light and fear to me as a future teacher. I hope that I will have strength to allow all to stand and be counted, but part of me is full of fear. It is often too easy to remain quiet and float along, rather than choosing to swim against the tide. I hope that I have the strength and courage, but may not. I feel anger and frustration for my children that will grow up in our system. If they happen to be queer, will they feel minimized? Will I, given my personal perspective, be strong enough to provide a place where everyone can be him or herself? I hope that the new dominant narrative includes all sexualities, and reflects any ideal that is based on positive identities for all.
My thoughts are rooted in reality, where I know that although there is a push for support in schools, there is still backlash from strong ideals. It is simple for the story to state that, “Gay teachers need to take more risks to provide strong out models of what it means to be gay (120)”, but this is easier said than done. It is one matter to come out to your friends and family, and a whole other to come out to a society that can cripple your academic future — or at least that is my fear. Those of us that have had the courage to come out to our families, see that society is very entrenched in oppressive ideas. To be honest, this place where I now stand, is scarier than hell. I see the power that I hold, and hope that I can do the vision that I hold justice.
Wandering Bawdens 
Thank you for sharing your story with us Kaylene! You have been so brave in posting this story on to your blog. You have such a kind spirit, and I know for a matter of fact that you fight for everything that you believe in. With this attitude, you continue to inspire me each and every day. I know that you will be an absolutely amazing teacher and you will treat students with the respect that they deserve. Anybody who judges you for your sexual orientation are missing out on a true inspiration and a true friend.
Kaylene! Thanks so much for your courage in sharing this story with us. I know that you will be a vital asset to many students in any classroom that you are a part of. Hold true to your beliefs (which I know you will) and you will be an inspiration for all students!
Speaking out and sharing your story is empowering to yourself and to others. You show great courage and strength…you WILL create a safe learning environment where all your students can be who they truly are & that’s a beautiful gift, Kaylene.
Kaylene – I love that you begin by saying: “I state that it is not without reservation, that I have decided to write this and post it to an open blog that is directly linked to my future as an educator. But I understand the great power I hold, in being able to provide acceptance and strength for my future students.” Indeed, you do hold great power as an ally and role model, but I agree that it is also problematic to post certain things in public online spaces, given the context collapse of the internet. Moreover, the fact that you felt able to post indicates the ways in which privilege is not absolute – that is, you hold privilege (and thus the ability to post your thoughts without too much fear of retribution) in some senses, but not in others.
You also note: “It is often too easy to remain quiet and float along, rather than choosing to swim against the tide.” How can you tie this into what Kumashiro says about discomfort in education?
Finally, you quote the text when it says, “‘Gay teachers need to take more risks to provide strong out models of what it means to be gay'” – I wonder how this resonates with you. Is it fair to put the responsibility on gay teachers in this way? Is this similar to asking a student of a different background to speak for his/her culture? Something to think about.
Overall, a brave and thoughtful response.
Katia – Kumashiro discusses discomfort in education, and states how it happens often, and is required for personal growth. If there is no level of discomfort, then it is very easy to become complacent with the standard of privilege which we hold. If I simply dismissed that discomfort, rather than allowing it to move me into action, then I would be creating oppression, rather than fighting to work towards it’s elimination. To me this discomfort is like a fireball of cognitive dissonance that needs to be extinguished. It shows up where we have room to grow, and in which direction that growth should occur.
The responsibility should be put on all of our shoulders to create change, however, it tends to sit first with gay teachers because it is personal to them – to us. Discomforts that affect us deeply, push us to act with greater force.
Thank you for your response. It is nice to feel supported, and to feel that I can give voice to those whose flame of discomfort does not yet shine bright enough.